my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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