Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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