Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
whose parrot is this?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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