I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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