I'm jealous of your bromance
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
