Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I have tasted many bathrooms
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
