i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
