Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
