I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
There are leaves in my underwear?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize