also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
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