Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
