Moan for me like Helen Keller
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
