I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
