what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
