This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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