is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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