You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
