You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just google imaged poop.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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