Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
