East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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