guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
