Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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