im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
