I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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