so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
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Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
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He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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