does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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