remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
