i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
