I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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