Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
