Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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