He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
