Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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