why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
