Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
