no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
