i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
