sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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