obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
