You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
