They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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