she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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