Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
