I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
organizing the empties. That sober.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
