its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
