So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
