Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
