So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
