It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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