im drinking this country out of the recession.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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