she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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