do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
