I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
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If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
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All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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