I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
