She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize