i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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