your parents love me but you hate me
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize