no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Dicks are not precious.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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