So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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