We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Plural? Please tell.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains